The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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