Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
