Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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