I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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