I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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