He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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