Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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