How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
