discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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