Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
