she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
