you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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