used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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