YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
