So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
