I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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