Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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