I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize