I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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