i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it glows. i had to have it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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