well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
