She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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