dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize