Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
