the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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