whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
