My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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