White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
tell me about the fingering
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