At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
