so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
