you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
