That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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