Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
