I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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