I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
