I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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