I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
