What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
