This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
