if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dear god my vagina.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize