We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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