I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
