i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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