There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
