PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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