i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
