There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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