capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
