too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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