Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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