I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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