how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize