Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
