I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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