If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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