We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Buhtt sex?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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