is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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